I hope you enjoyed your Christmas. As expected my time on the computer has been rather limited, mainly due to nagging from my wife; “and I don’t expect to see you on that bloody computer all over Christmas”. That was me told!
Anyway as the new year is nearly upon us, here are my top ten predictions for 2010:
1. After consulting his giant well-thumbed ACME book of “how to create fake dividing lines and outwit the Tories”, Brown cunningly ums and ahs about the date of the General Election in order to try to smoke out Tory Policies. It, of course, backfires spectacularly badly on Brown and the election date is on May 6th anyway as widely expected.
2. Easter Sunday will be on 4th April.
3. Cameron will win the General Election with a 72 seat majority and the biggest swing in history. Brown takes defeat badly and ungraciously.
4. UKIP will win Buckingham and Ed Balls will lose his seat (hopefully)
5. Greece will go bankrupt plunging the Euro into crisis.
6. England reach the 2010 World Cup final and lose 3-2 to Spain. So near yet…
7. 2010 will be one of the coldest on record despite Met Office predictions at the start of the year that it will be a scorcher (well, they’re always wrong aren’t they?)
8. 19th August A-Level results are released, cue 2 days of frenzied press speculation that the exams have got easier.
9. 31st October the clocks go back and a spokesman for the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents announces its Single Double Summer Time campaign to prevent accidents.
10. 8 out of 10 of my predictions will be correct.